Why are some people able to find their dream jobs…when so many others are not?

A lot of you know about Earn1k, the course I created to help you earn more money on the side.

But I’ve never publicly mentioned that I also run an accompanying program called Beyond1k, which provides live weekly calls, a Mastermind group, and ongoing support for accountability and time management. (Some interesting stories behind it…like how I made a $300,000 mistake creating it…but I’ll share those later.)

Anyway, I got this email from one of my Beyond1k students, Candy, yesterday.

I had to share this with you since I just got back from vacation in SoCal; apologies in advance if it sounds ‘insane’. I met up with some friends of mine I hadn’t seen in 4+ years down in LA on Saturday. One of them is an amateur photographer but takes great photos with the little equipment he has. I asked him if he’s tried to market his photography skills to people and he said, I shit you not, “I do not have the self-entrepreneurship in me.” What is he doing right now? He quit his job with a logistics company he worked with the past 5 years; cashed out his 401k; and is now back in school taking interior design hoping that’ll help him move to a better fulfilling career.

I had that moment I wanted to yell at him in your same mannerism but I held my tongue, and went, “Ah-huh.”

Look, I know I’ve been a bad student and a lazy ass one at that with B1K. But talking to my friend about me trying to do freelancing on top of working two jobs and him passively waiting for his dream creative career to happen made me realize how much value this program you’ve offered is to people. I was really thinking of canceling my membership before the end of this month but I’m definitely finishing the quarter. I don’t want to be part of “them” anymore.

Ramit, if I could give you a hug, I would. But I don’t think my fiance would enjoy me hugging the guy whose voice he finds annoying

Aside from Candy’s fiance calling my voice annoying, which made me feel pity for this young man’s severe hearing impairment, I found this note very insightful.

• “He’s passively waiting for his dream career to happen.” How many of us do this? We say, “If only I had more time/money/ideas/freedom, then I could REALLY do what I want to do.” Which is, of course, complete bullshit. To the wishful dreamer, there’s always something on the horizon to wait for instead of doing something today. There’s always another excuse. You don’t wait for something to happen, you get off your ass and do it.
• “I don’t have the self-entrepreneurship in me.” Notice how passive that is. Someone who really wanted a dream job (and had the ability and willingness to pursue it) would re-frame the question: How do I think more entrepreneurially? Who do I need to talk to? What books/courses should I take? What have other successful people done?
• Perhaps most interesting of all is the fact that Candy is so motivated by what NOT to do. Honestly, this was what motivated me early on, too: seeing some really smart friends go to work for cog-in-a-wheel jobs that they didn’t love, then fast-forwarding 10 or 20 years to see older friends who were stuck. I never wanted to be like that, so I took steps to ensure that I wasn’t. There’s nothing special about me. There’s nothing special about any of the people I know who have dream jobs…except that they looked ahead to see what they wanted…and didn’t want.

(One more sidenote: Anyone notice how the amateur photographer decided he needed a credential to really make it? That is one of the biggest mistakes people make when pursuing their passions: thinking that a mythical credential will REALLY help them, when actually getting experience is almost always a better move. People don’t like hearing this, though, because it reduces the magic of the silver bullet of credentials and degrees.)

Finding a dream job doesn’t have to be a 100% deep plunge where you quit your job today. I’m all about setting smaller goals and starting off gradually. You can start by thinking entrepreneurially, figuring out which of your skills can be turned into side income, and then testing your ideas. It may sound like a confusing black box, but you can only illuminate it with action.

Whether you sign up for my Earn1k free preview course (which shows you, step-by-step, how to do this), or buy some great books on doing what you love, or even just take someone out to lunch and pick their brain, I hope you can make the switch from passively waiting for your dreams…to actively pursuing them.

Some observations on making huge career jumps, your friends, and your own psychology…

It’s easy to go through your career taking the same paths others did before you. But small, simple tweaks can make a huge difference in your lifetime.

One of my readers, Alexander, writes:

“I’m reviewing NIH grant proposals right now and seeing your tweets made me think of something that might interest you — doing the “expected” career progression instead of the one that makes sense. Typically, biologists who want to do research as a career go to grad school ($22K annual stipend; I did this part and learned a tremendous amount) for 5-6 years and then do a postdoctoral fellowship ($40K salary; ridiculously low wages for someone who is now a subject matter expert in their research area) for up to 6 more years before becoming assistant professors ($65-70K or so starting). I skipped that postdoc stage and I’m currently a 33-year-old “senior scientist” with my own research grants, etc (the normal age for that career point is about 42). Although there’s certainly the usual mix of luck and me maximizing my exposure to luck in my having leapfrogged that whole postdoc phase, the thing that I find really jarring is this:

When I talk to friends and acquaintances who are going through grad school now, they frequently don’t even want to entertain the possibility of making this kind of “jump” themselves. I’ve tried to pitch them on it, and been told, “It doesn’t work that way.” When I offer myself as proof, I’m told, “You’re a special case.”

I though that might interest you, given your appreciation for the psychology of success. I’ve personally found it a little tiring, although I have realized that the set of peers I chose to spend time with in grad school match my outlook, which makes sense — I picked positive, productive friends (who are now doing quite well in positions at consulting firms and major biotech companies). Still, I find it odd that people don’t like the idea of jumping ahead if it’s demonstrably possible.”

Few things I’ve noticed:

• I used to hear friends complain about money, and I would rush to tell them what to do. Even when I knew the objective “right” answer, they never, ever listened to me. Instead, their eyes glazed over and they ignored me. Eventually I started resenting them for not listening (which is a ridiculous reaction on my part). After 1.5 years of this, I decided to implement what I called the Honey Pot Strategy, where I let the right people come to me, via this blog. It has been a miraculous change. People are smart: Only the right people come, and the wrong people realize this site isn’t for them, and leave (that’s why I don’t mind when people say they’re unsubscribing from this site). Read more: Bob Bly, the noted copywriter, writes about why he never gives unsolicited advice.
• People feel comfortable putting others into buckets. “Oh, you study economics” or “Ah, you’re a product manager.” I do it. You do it. We all do. But when you start doing something “weird” like doing a side job, or earning $1,000 on the side, or even doing a free internship, people generally get uncomfortable. There are a variety of reasons for this, but the most important result is that it makes us question what we’re doing. Yet if you think about it, why would you care what people who are not doing what you want to do say? The reason, of course, is we are profoundly social, and our reference groups are broad. Even if I think your job sucks, you’re still my friend, and I’m still influenced by your judgment. In some of my advanced courses, I teach people how to deal with this.
• Doing offbeat, “weird” things early in our careers can produce huge rewards. Witness this blog, my comedy blog “Things I Hate,” or even the “You have died of Dysentery” t-shirt that I created. None were created to make money. Yet each one played a pivotal role in opening up doors. The challenging thing about doing offbeat, weird things is that there’s potentially huge upside, but you don’t know for sure. In general, people don’t like doing things that don’t have a clear ROI, especially as they get older. That’s why people consistently ask, “Can you guarantee I’ll make $1,000 in Earn1k? How do you KNOW that taking people out to lunch will work?” You don’t know. Otherwise everyone would do it.

I cover specific tactics in my writings on entrepreneurship, my entrepreneurship bookmarks, and my Earn1k course.